Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You…Till I Find Someone New…
by Joy Monger
I wrote the little diddy below in December 2005 and just found it again…five years later it’s still relevant…last night met a cute new crush who was all tattoos and “dudes” and completely different from the last crush but now my new favorite…apparently I still have a lot to learn about physics, and probably also chemistry too…enjoy!
I just recently hung out with someone who I used to have a big ol’ fat crush on. We’re talking the sick to your stomach-have to restrain not to lick their face right then and there-make you crazy kind of crush. I don’t feel that way about him anymore and boy was it nice to enjoy his company and not feel like I might die from nerves. I mean we had a really nice time just being friends.
I’ve had a few of those sorts of crushes this year. Most of them never evolved into much (probably because my crushees sensed my feelings and were turned off by my border-line certifiable intensity. Who can blame them really?). And mostly I have absolutely no desire to lick their faces anymore. Sometimes I even forget that I ever felt that way in the first place. Often because I met someone new, or they ran away or I got sick of the unrequited feelings, tired of the frustration.
So my question is; how is it possible to feel so differently about a person when nothing has really changed? They’re still the same. I’m still the same. They didn’t sleep with my best friend or murder bunnies in front of me. So what changes? Did I never really feel that strongly for the person? Was I just fixating in order to occupy my time? Did I mistake my desire to be loved for just plan desire?
Or is having a crush an energy that you have to take back, conserve and convert in order to move on and care about someone new?
Does the First Law of Thermodynamics apply to love?